And whip both with the very same rod; I've lived sixty-four years In this valley of tears, And seen all sorts of men, that's a fact; And I've made up my mind As to poor human kind, That we're all of us more or less cracked. It's all very fine For your pompous divine To give out from his pulpit of oak, That teetotallers can be like sots. When they won't bear comparing at all. Who resembled another in fact; And, as far as I see, They in nothing agree, Except that they're more or less cracked. There's your friend Julius Cæsar, Who, 'twixt you and me, sir, Was not a bad chap at a fight; Now just say, if you can, In what way such a man Can be said to resemble John Bright? Each is cracked in his way If the one or the other be right; To say Julius Cæsar Was just such a man as John Bright. Like Jack Shepherd the sinner, 'Judge Nicholson' like Walter Scott? You may argue forever No matter how clever, You cannot establish the fact, That an eagle's a mouse, Ora pill-box a house, You'll find all of no use, One will turn out a goose, - And put down Quæ genus' before 'em; They'll grow more unlike ev'ry day; T'other pay his half-price to the play. And when they are free from the school, One will live up in attics T'other doat on Paul Bedford and Toole. One man's born ferocious, One lamb-like, another defiant; One's born for a writer, And one for a fighter One's a pigmy, and t'other a giant. We all have our breeds, And our various seeds, Just like animals, fishes, and flowers; You can't make a dog From a sheep or a hog; They've their classes distinct, and we've ours. Who'd compare a bear's hug To the bite of a pug? Who'd have felt the least pity for Daniel, If, 'stead of a cage With wild-beasts to engage, He'd been put in a den with a spaniel? You might just as well try To make elephants fly, Or convert pickled pork into venison, As compel a born coward To fight like a Howard A beadle to rhyme like a Tennyson. Have stamped on their faces The marks that distinguish them - rather! You may tell the born glutton, Who lives upon mutton, From the savage who eats his own father. Why, just look at the Yankees ! I'd not give two thankye's For all the fine things that they teach About men being 'equal' You'll prove nothing but this - that you're They can't carry out what they preach. cracked. Now take any two gabies, And start them as babies, They've found in the sequel While the North stuck to figures, As to prove London Bridge is at Brighton, The notion dismiss And depend upon this That a Black man is not like a white un. Now I'll tell you what do Take a boot and a shoe, They are articles ev'ryone wears, And our clay's mixed in various gradations; We're all sent upon earth Ready-made for our sundry vocations. We all were 'created' But were not created for 'fellows;' One's destined to play T'other's destined to just blow the bellows. Were it otherwise, why Have been rival to Jonathan Wild? You may fight her decrees till you're sick : Worrell always was meant for a 'stick.' Thus will ev'ry man find He's to conquer the world, or sell figs; Paints portraits, or only paints pigs. Another's created to lend it; The greater the bore, Why the greater his store It's the pleasantest fellows who spend it. It's some consolation To know compensation Is equally granted to all; Let Nature alone, Envy no man his own, And jog on altogether like brothers. Now, to sum up the whole Of this long rigmarole, It is wise to give each man his station; It's really absurd To treat all as one herd, And drive all by the same education. Try and humour the bent With which each man is sent, Duly stamped at the hour of his birth; And assist the poor creature To better his nature, And act well his part upon earth. If Tom Hood had been put In a regiment of foot He would never have let off a gun; I'd bet you a shilling He'd only have let off a pun. Do you think that Molière And worked hard as a pillow and bolsterer, 'Twas bosh - and he knew it - Its the truth, and so - that's all about it. COUNTING BABY'S TOES. DEAR little bare feet, Of a shell or a rose! One is a lady That sits in the sun; Two is a baby, And three is a nun; Four is a lily With innocent breast; And five is a birdie Asleep on her nest. A POSE FOR A PICTURE. the People;" "The Blessing;" "Stand up for Does any artist, desirous of distinguishing Jesus;" "Poems, with Autobiographies and other notes;" and "The Peerless Magnificence of the Word of God." N. Y. Evening Post, 10 Oct. himself, want a subject of which he may make a picture for the next Exhibition of the Royal Academy? Then here is one for him, in an extract from the Moniteur relative to the Spanish Insurrection: "The frigate Victoria, which had appeared before Corunna, retired in consequence of the attitude assumed by the Captain-General." What scope this announcement affords for the conception of a grand historical picture! In the whole range of profane history there is only one instance at all nearly parallel to the wonderful fact which it proclaims. That occurred at the last siege of Acre, where the garrison immediately laid down their arms on the appearance of Admiral Sir Charles Napier in the breach, when he raised his walking-stick. This, however, was too simple a gesture to be suitable for pictorial illustration. But if there is any British Artist sufficiently endowed with that sense of grandeur which is characteristic of Continental genius, he can embody it in a portrait of the Captain-General of Corunna, as he app appeared in the attitude in consequence of which the Vic toria retired. He was a OUR OLD FRIEND. - Mrs. Malaprop is full of the Elections. Her opinions, ons, she says, with some confusion in her mind between plums and politics, are Preservative, and she is for the Irish Church, having cousin who is an Archdeacon's Apparition. She is certain something dreadful will happen to that Gladstone, who, she hears, has crossed the Rubicund, and is perspiring with Bright and the Radicals. She has no patience with women wanting to have votes, and is delighted that the Reviving Banisters refused them the Frances. Mrs. M. reads the foreign news, as you may be sure when you hear that she talks about the Bonbons being driven out of Spain. Punch. UPON the principle that a member of Parliament has no opinions beyond those with which his constituents entrust him, it may be maintained that a clergyman's only duty is to supply the religion and the morality of which his congregation approves. Such seems to be the theory of the Congregationalists worshipping at Broadstreet Chapel, Reading, who have called upon their pastor to vacate his holy office, on the ground that he had "set up too high a standard of Christian life." The poor sinners of Reading have doubtless found their efforts to be consistently pious quite hopeless; and probably wish to have some kindly mentor who will make allowances for their infirmities. THE Rev. Dr. Thomas H. Stockton, for many years chaplain of the House of Representatives, died at Philadelphia on Wednesday. born at Mount Holly, N. J., June 4, 1898. He began to write for the press at an early age, and also studied medicine at Philadelphia. In May, 1829, he began preaching, in connection with the Methodist Protestant Church. In 1830 he was stationed at Baltimore, and in 1833 was elected chaplain to congress, and re-elected in 1835. From 1836 to 1839 he lived in Baltimore, compiled the prayer-book of the Methodist Protestant Church, and was for a short time editor of the Methodist Protestant. He soon after resigned and moved to Philadelphia, where he remained until 1847, as pastor and public lecturer, picture of Stourbout's. The contract for the exthen removed to Cincinnati, and was elected ecution of the picture has been discovered, and president of the Miami University, but declined, and in 1850 returned to Baltimore, where he was for five years associate pastor of the St. John's Methodist Church, and for three and a half years pastor of an associate Reformed Presbyterian Church. Since 1856 he has lived in Philadelphia. He was again Chaplain of the House from TITIAN'S "Peter Martyr," it will be remembered, was destroyed some time ago by a fire in Venice. An excellent copy of the picture possessed by the Museum of Florence has been kindly handed over by the Florentines to the city of Venice. The "Last Judgment" in the church of St. Marie, Dantzic, which was long considered to be the work of Van Eyck, turns out to be a settles the question. A FRENCH chemist claims to have discovered a method of manufacturing transparent lookingglasses-terms which seem to imply a self-contradiction. Instead of mercury, he uses platinum 1859 to 1861, and in 1862 was chaplain of the for the back of the glass; and his preparation Senate. Rev. Dr. Stockton edited several period- has the virtue of concealing every defect in the icals and published an edition of the New Testa-glass itself. M. Dode says that his looking-glass ment in paragraph form. Also, the following may be used for windows, so transparent is it. works: "Floating Flowers from a hidden If this is true, there need be no lack of mirrors Brook;" "The Bible Alliance;" "Sermons for in a house. JUST PUBLISHED AT THIS OFFICE: OCCUPATIONS OF A RETIRED LIFE, by EDWARD GARRETT. Price 50 cents. ALL FOR GREED, by the BARONESS BLAZE DE BURY. Price 38 cts. PREPARING FOR PUBLICATION AT THIS OFFICE: HISTORICAL SKETCHES OF THE REIGN OF GEORGE II. These very interesting and valuable sketches of Queen Caroline, Sir Robert Walpole, Lord Chesterfield, Lady Mary Wortley Montague, Pope, and other celebrated characters of the time of George II., several of which have already appeared in the LIVING AGE, reprinted from Blackwood's Magazine, will be issued from this office, in book form, as soon as completed. A HOUSE OF CARDS. PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY BY LITTELL & GAY, BOSTON. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. FOR EIGHT DOLLARS, remitted directly to the Publishers, the LIVING AGE will be punctually forwarded for a year, free of postage. But we do not prepay postage on less than a year, nor where we have to pay commission for forwarding the money. Price of the First Series, in Cloth, 86 volumes, 90 dollars. The Complete Work, Any Volume Bound, 3 dollars; Unbound, 2 dollars. The sets, or volumes, will be sent at the expense of the publishers. PREMIUMS FOR CLUBS. For 5 new subscribers ($40.), a sixth copy; or a set of HORNE'S INTRODUCTION TO THE BIBLE, unabridged. in 4 large volumes, cloth, price $10; or any 5 of the back volumes of the LIVING AGE, in numbers, price $10. |