sub-marine Highness has caught many a ships are guilty of; for, he adds, they lie chap' half-seas over.' CREDIT LOST IS LIKE A BROKEN LOOKING-GLASS. Exactly. Rather hard to shave with any longer. FATHER AND SONS. Uncommonly smart fathers are very apt to have uncommonly stupid sons. And we fear for our offspring, when we think upon OLIVER CROMWELL and Master DICK, DANIEL O'CONNELL and his boy JOHNNY. DICK was too small potatoes to be made a DICKTATER of; and his father's mantle fits Master JACK, as a purser's shirt does a bean-pole. The great RICHARD of Engiand, (not DICK CROMWELL) was known as COEUR DE LION,' Master JOHN will probably figure as 'Tête de l'Ane.' The former raised men for a Saracen crusade, the latter demands the Repeal crews-aid in the form of mopusses. His father received more purses than his share, but we fear the son's 'rent' will, like that of a certain Secretary of War, be in arrears. JOHN is considered by all to be a BROTH of a boy, which accounts for his being so much of a soup. CORRESPONDENCE, ETC. 'A FRIEND' sends us the following disquisition upon the lines: "OH, life is a river, and man is a boat, Most true, oh! king, and accounts for many things, particularly and especially the propensity some men have for getting 'half-seas over.' Some are very fast; real clippers; while others are decidedly slow-sailing craft. Some are luggers of wood and carriers of water, while others with their fanciful streamers flying, yacht it up and down the world, having a perpetual holiday. There be crafts of pleasure, and there be crafts of business; there be crafts that cannot move a peg, unless wound up to a proper pitch with steam, and a noisy, quarrelsome, turbulent, troublesome set they are; always coming in collision with something or somebody, until a collapsed flue, a burnt-out boiler, a stovein bow, broken paddles, or a run down at night, put a stop to their career. In fine, all men are crafty. 'SALT WATER' says we are not right in supposing that pitching and tossing and turning up coppers, are the only vices that to. We extract the following from a letter to a friend. The writer is evidently down in the Musquito country: This place is sum, speshially in summer. Your nose Ime tached to the shang daffers in the diggin line. Oh BILL! ef ye could ondly clap ise on the perduckshuns of this side, yude be silent enuf about yure farm. All the trese here bares poll-parots and monkese and coons and go-away-news and possums and kokernuts, and awl on 'em a hangin' by thare tales. Them kokernuts is full ov milk, and the peple gits awl thare butter and chease that way. When thay want to lie in thare winter suply, they git tugeder a hull passel on 'em, and makes a long rope out of monkese tales, and fastens one eend to the top of the tree, and pulls backward and for'ard till the milk is awl churned. 'When the thunder and litenin' begins, thare awl as busy as beese. The thunder kurdles the milk, and they do n't use runnit, but jest set to and brake up the nuts, and put the contents in a bag, and ride horseback on it till its hard enuff, I tell ye.' DEAR READERS, one and all, a Happy New-Year! ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. 'AN ANXIOUS FATHER' writes thus: "What am I to do with my boy? He is one of the d-l's unaccountables. Steals his mother's sweatmeats; worries cats, dogs and girls; fights all the small boys; plays truant four days out of five; and threatens to set the house on fire, if do not quit thrashing him.' My very dear and afflicted Sir, the only remedy that we wot of, in such a distressing case, to have him run over by an omnibus, or blown up with gunpowder. He will immediately become a fine, intelligent, interesting, and amiable boy; and should he not survive the operation, you will have the satisfaction of learning from all the papers that condole with you, that his loss was deeply lamented by a large circle of loving and mournSTREET INSPECTOR' inquires if Canal-street be ing friends and acquaintance. not one of the coldest and most disagreeable streets in the city, during winter. We think not there is a Bleecker-street just beyond Houston. 'ORDERLY' asks why perturbed spirits are like raw recruits. We take it to be, because they require exorcising. ANTIQUARY' wishes to know if any attendant spirit watched over the safety of Noah and his family when upon the vast flood; and if so, what one. Can't answer precisely; but if such was the case, suppose it must have been an arch. angel. CRABTREE' desires to know what tribe of Indians deserves to be d-d. Upon the best information which we have been able to obtain, we should rather think it must be the Crecks. 'DRY MEASURE' asks why eight quarts are like a sex. "GIN SLING' asks what David said to the vainglorious boasts of his gigantic adversary? Not positive: Go-liar, perhaps. 'PILGARLICK' has just discovered why the hooping-cough is so named, because it goes ROUND the family. "VERY SUSPICIOUS.'- JOHN BROWN and BILL SMITH went to Boston the other night. BILL suffered dreadfully from sea sickness, and be sought JOHN, who was standing by him, to seek out the steward and obtain some brandy-andwater. JOHN however refused to move until HE did, for fear he might be arrested for passing a spurious Bill. ADVERTISEMENTS. URN-EM'S attention is respectfully solicited to the following extract from PLINY: "Quando Crocodilum desiratum est catchere, et nono comatibus est in swampo.Juvenilem nigerum take about et Tinct. Opii, aut Acet morphii,' aut longo sermoni, put him to sleepum heels foremost. Inde hogibus modo gruntatum est. Ruat Crocodilus, niger swallow at usque ad midoleum et instanter sickus bargami Cuffee vult ejectcre. Sed cannot come it heels fancitus haesit impossibilis est squallere, et frightem-to-deathibus novo fizo, captabitum.' The proprietor would embrace this opportunity of informing the public that the lien law does not apply to any fat children, women, or Highland boys raised in Brooklyn, in his possession; and all persons building suits for them will do so at their own risk. PETER BURN-EM. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS REWARD FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS additional if satis will be paid for a live Street-Inspector, and factory evidence is produced of his being taken in the streets. Apply to BURN-EM. NO THE GREAT UNHUMBUGGED AMERI TEAN PUBLIC GOBBLE, VIPER & CO. have the honor to announce, that they now offer an opportunity to Americans to patronize the dis BBUG.-Direct-lie opposite the Bunkumville GREAT AMERICAN HUM- tinguished artists of Europe. Church, SUPERHUMAN ATTRACTIONS. Just received a DEGREE OF LONGITUDE taken in the very act of CROSSING THE LINE. And purchased at an enormous expense. Also, the identical Boors in which Tarquin RAVISHING STRIDES! took his A branch of BIRNAM WOOD, cut just before TWO WOOLY HENS of Sir JOHN MAUNDEVILLE'S breed. A wax-figure of a STREET INSPECTOR. purely imaginative work.) A REAL ALLIGATOR, The advantages of the plan are obvious and manifest. A helping hand will be lent to the decaying genius of Europe. A round sum put into the pockets of the subscribers, and native humbug will be prevented from foisting their trash upon an ignorant community. N. B. Rich and racy French prints and pictures, which the ridiculous and meddlesome laws of obtained by private application. All communithis country prevent us from exhibiting, can be cations will be considered as strictly confidential. 1. II. (A that in endeavoring to swallow a young negro, was partly suffocated by the heels lodging, (see painting) and in this condition was easily captured. The negro, who in consequence of his fright, is transformed into a white man, is expected in a few days. Lest a too incredulous public should doubt this simple statement, their TABLE OF CONTENTS. OUR OWN COURSE AND THAT OF III. KNOWLEDGE FOR THE PEOPLE: IV. MISCELLANY: ELEGANT EXTRACTS: V. CORRESPONDENTS, Erc. VI. VII. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. ADVERTISEMENTS. Then let our radiant charity be flung Out on the air thus weighed with blue-lipped sorrow, Rochester, (N. Y.,) November, 1849. THEY'RE gone, all gone! those joyous days, In green and gold the fields were dressed, And through the grass, with ardent looks, Throw tinkling laughter at the sun; In bacchanalian merriment, As fiercely gay, as swiftly spent. They 're gone, all gone! the gentle flowers, Bright-eyed ones laughing o'er the meads, All-meekly lifted to the sky; The violet that mused alone, Like hermit, 'neath a mossy stone; The meek-eyed daisy, primrose pale, The queenly lily of the vale; From field and hill they all have passed, They 're gone, all gone! each happy bird, Nor linnet, hid among the leaves, His curious note unwearied weaves. No parent-robins gather food To still their open-throated brood; There, where the cunning nest was scen And where unscared the birdlings slept, While plaintive night-winds round them crept. And they are gone, the friends so loved, Or took DAN GÖETHE'S 'FAUSTUS' down, To find the meaning of our lesson, And where we could not find one, guess one: And belches forth such sparkling gems As pale the sheen of diadems; And all the goodly group the while Their thoughtful admiration smile. GIBBON, and LANKEY,' and BEAUCLERK, GARRICK, and 'GOLDY,' THRALE and BURKE, And (instar omnium!) mighty Boz, More than the Great Sublime he draws. Sometimes we turned our SHAKSPEARES o'er, And ranged the realms of fancy-lore, In wildering moonlit mazes lost With HAMLET and his father's ghost; Or, chuckling, watched the garden trick Or throwing books and business by, Climbed to the hill-top's breathless height, Thence turned to gaze (O goodly sight!) |