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Hal. He draweth out the thread of his verbofity finer than the staple of his argument. I abhor fuch phanatical phantafms, fuch infociable and point-devife companions; fuch rackers of orthography, as do speak dout fine, when he fhould fay doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, the clepeth a calf, cauf: half, hauf: neighbour vocatur nebour neigh abbreviated ne: this is abominable, which we would call abhominable: (30) it infinuateth me of Infanie Ne intelligis, Domine, to make frantick, lunatick ?
Nath. Laus deo, bone, intelligo.
Hol. Bone? bone, for benè; Prifcian a little fcratch'd; 'twill ferve.
Enter Armado, Moth and Coftard.
Nath. Videfne quis venit?
Hol. Quare Chirra, not Sirrah ?
(30) It infinuateth me of infamy: Nè intelligis, Domine, to make frantick, lunatick?
Nath. Laus Deo, bene intelligo.
Hol. Bome boon for boon Prefcian; a little Scratch, 'twill ferve.] This Play is certainly none of the best in it felf, but the Editors have been fo very happy in making it worse by their Indolence, that they have left me Augeas's Stable to cleanfe and a Man had need have the Strength of a Hercules to heave out all their Rubbish. But to Bufinefs; Why should Infamy be explain'd by making frantick, lunatick? It is plain and obvious that the Poet intended, the Pedant fhould coin an un-couth affected Word here, infanie, from infania of the Latines. Then, what a Piece of unintelligible Jargon have these learned Criticks given us for Latine? I think, I may venture to affirm, I have reftor'd the Paffage to its true Purity.
Nath. Laus Deo, bone, intelligo.
The Curate, addreffing with Complaifance his brother Pedant, fays, bone, to him, as we frequently in Terence find bone Vir; but the Pedant thinking, he had mistaken the Adverb, thus defcants on it.
Bone? bone for benè. Prifcian a little fcratch'd: 'twill ferve. Alluding to the common Phrafe, Diminuis Prifciani caput, apply'd to fuch as speak falfe Latine,
Arm. Men of Peace, well encountred. Hol. Moft military Sir, falutation. Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, and ftole the fcraps..
Coft. O, they have liv'd long on the Alms-basket of words. I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not fo long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier fwallow'd than a flap-dragon.
Moth. Peace, the peal begins.
Arm. Monfieur, are you not letter'd ?
Moth. Yes, yes, he teaches boys the horn-book : What is A B fpelt backward with a horn on his head ? Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, moft filly sheep, with a horn. You hear his learning.
Hol. Quis, quis, thou confonant?
Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I. (31)
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, I.
Moth. The fheep; the other two concludes it, o, u. Arm. Now by the falt wave of the Mediterraneum, a fweet touch, a quick venew of wit; fnip, fnap, quick. and home; it rejoiceth my intellect; true wit.
Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man which is wit-old.
Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure ?
Hol. Thou difputeft like an infant; go, whip thy
Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will
(31) The laft of the five Vowels, if you repeat them; or the. fifth if 1:
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, I. — Moth. The Sheep :i -the other two concludes it out.] Wonderful Sagacity again! All the Editions agree in this Reading; but is not the last, and the fifth, the fame Vowel? Tho' my Correction reftores but a poor Conundrum, yet if it restores the Poet's Meaning, it is the Duty of an Editor to trace him in
whip about your infamy (32) circùm circà; a gigg of a cuckold's horn.
Coft. An' I had but one penny in the world, thou fhouldit have it to buy ginger-bread; hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy mafter, thou halfpenny purfe of wit, thou pidgeon-egg of difcretion. O, that the heav'ns were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me? go to, thou hast it ad dunghill; at the fingers ends, as they fay.
Hol. Oh, I fmell falfe latine, dunghill for unguem. Arm. Arts-man, præambula; we will be fingled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the chargehouse on the top of the mountain ?
Hol. Or, Mons the hill.
Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Arm. Sir, it is the King's moft fweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the Princefs at her Pavilion, in the pofteriors of this day, which the rude multitude call the afternoon.
Hol. The pofterior of the day, moft generous Sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, choice, fweet, and apt, I do affure you, Sir, I do affure.
Arm. Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my familiar; I do affure ye, my very good friend; for what is inward between us, let it pafs I do befeech thee, remember thy curtefie I beseech thee, apparel thy head, and among other importunate and most serious defigns, and of great import indeed too pafs: for I must tell thee, it will please his Grace
but let that
his lowest Conceits. By, O, U, Moth would mean --- Oh, You. --- i. e. You are the Sheep ftill, either way; no Matter, which of Us repeats them.
(32) I will whip about your Infamy unum cita; ] Here again all the Editions give us Jargon inftead of Latine. But Moth would certainly mean, circum circà: i. e. about and about: sho' it may be design'd, he should mistake the Terms.
(by the world) fometime to lean upon my poor shoulder, and with his royal finger thus dally with my excrement, with my muftachio; but fweet heart, let that pafs. By the world, I recount no fable; fome certain special honours it pleaseth his Greatness to impart to Armado, a foldier, a man of travel, that hath feen the world; but let that pass the very all of all isbut fweet heart, I do implore fecrecy that the King would have me present the Princess (sweet chuck) with fome delightful oftentation, or fhow, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the Curate and your sweet self are good at fuch eruptions, and fudden breaking out of mirth, (as it were) I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your affistance.
Hol. Sir, you fhall present before her the nine Worthies. Sir, as concerning fome entertainment of time, fome fhow in the pofterior of this day, to be rendred by our affiftants at the King's command, and this most gallant, illuftrate and learned gentleman, before the Princefs: I fay, none fo fit as to present the nine Worthies.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
Hol. Fofbua, your felf; this gallant man, Judas Macabeus; this fwain (because of his great limb or joint) fhall pass Pompey the great; and the page, Hercules. Arm. Pardon, Sir, error.: he is not quantity enough for that Worthy's thumb; he is not fo big as the end of his club.
Hol. Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in minority: his Enter and Exit fhall be ftrangling a fnake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
Moth. An excellent device: for if any of the audience hifs, you may cry ; "well done, Hercules, now "thou crufheft the fnake; " that is the way to make an offence gracious, tho' few have the grace to do it. Arm. For the rest of the Worthies, Hol. I will play three my felf. Moth. Thrice-worthy gentleman! Arm. Shall I tell you a thing?
Hol. We attend.
Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an Antick. I beseech you, follow.
Hol. Via! good-man Dull, thou haft spoken no word
all this while.
Dull. Nor understood none neither, Sir.
Hol. Allons; we will employ thee.
Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or fo: or I will play on the taber to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
Hol. Moft dull, honeft, Dull, to our Sport away.
SCENE, before the Princess's Pavilion.
Enter Princefs, and Ladies.
Weet hearts, we fhall be rich ere we depart,
Prin. If Fairings come thus plentifully in.
A lady wall'd about with diamonds!
Rof. Madam, came nothing elfe along with That? Prin. Nothing but this? yes, as much love in rhyme,
As would be cram'd up in a fheet of
Rof. That was the way to make his God-head wax, For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
Cath. Ay, and a fhrewd unhappy gallows too.
Cath. He made her melancholy, fad and heavy,
Rof. What's your dark meaning, moufe, of this light word?
Cath. A light condition, in a beauty dark.