intimates, that Men and Women ought to bufy themfelves in their proper Spheres, and on fuch Matters only as are fuitable to their refpective Sex.

I am at this time acquainted with a young Gentleman, who has paffed a great Part of his Life in the Nurfery, and, upon Occafion, can make a Caudle or a Sack-Poffet better than any Man in England. He is likewife a wonderful Critick in Cambrick and Muflins, and will talk an Hour together upon a Sweet-meat. He entertains his Mother every Night with Obfervations that he makes both in Town and Court: As what Lady fhews the niceft Fancy in her Drefs; what Man of Quality wears the faireft Wig; who has the finest Linnen, who the prettieft Snuff-box, with many other the like curious Remarks, that may be made in good Company.

ON the other hand I have very frequently the Opportunity of feeing a Rural Andromache, who came up to Town laft Winter, and is one of the greateft Foxhunters in the Country. She talks of Hounds and Horfes, and makes nothing of leaping over a Six-bar Gate. If a Man tells her a waggifh Story, the gives him a Push with her Hand in jeft, and calls him an impudent Dog; and if her Servant neglects his Bufinefs, threatens to kick him out of the Houfe. I have heard her, in her Wrath, call a Substantial Tradefman a Loufy Cur; and remember one Day, when she could not think of the Name of a Perfon, the described him, in a large Company of Men and Ladies, by the Fellow with the Broad Shoulders.

IF thofe Speeches and Actions, which in their own Nature are indifferent, appear ridiculous when they proceed from a wrong Sex, the Faults and Imperfections of one Sex tranfplanted into another, appear black and monftrous. As for the Men, I fhall not in this Paper any further concern myself about them; but as I would fain contribute to make Woman-kind, which is the most beautiful Part of the Creation, intirely amiable, and wear out all those little Spots and Blemishes, that are apt to rife among the Charms which Nature has poured out upon them, I fhall dedicate this Paper to their Service. The Spot which I would here endeavour to clear them of, is that Party-Rage which of late Years is very much crept into their Converfation. This is, in its Nature, a

Male

Male Vice, and made up of many angry and cruel Paffions that are altogether repugnant to the Softnefs, the Modefty, and thole other endearing Qualities which are natural to the Fair Sex. Women were formed to temper Mankind, and footh them into Tendernefs and Compaflion; not to fet an Edge upon their Minds, and blow up in them thofe Paffions which are too apt to rife of their own Accord. When I have seen a pretty Mouth uttering Calumnies and Invectives, what would I not have given to have ftopt it? How have I been troubled to fee fome of the finest Features in the World grow pale, and tremble with Party-Rage? Camilla is one of the greatest Beauties in the British Nation, and yet values herself more upon being the Virago of one Party, than upon being the Toaft of both. The dear Creature, about a Week ago, encountered the fierce and beautiful Penthefilea across a Tea-Table; but in the Height of her Anger, as her Hand chanced to shake with the Earneftness of the Difpute, fhe fcalded her Fingers, and fpilt a Difh of Tea upon her Petticoat. Had not this Accident broke off the Debate, no Body knows where it would have ended.

THERE is one Confideration which I would earneftly recommend to all my Female Readers, and which, I hope, will have fome weight with them. In short, it is this, that there is nothing fo bad for the Face as PartyZeal. It gives an ill-natur'd Caft to the Eye, and a difagreeable Sourness to the Look; befides, that it makes the Lines too ftrong, and flushes them worse than Brandy. I have feen a Woman's Face break out in Heats, as fhe has been talking against a great Lord, whom he had never seen in her Life; and indeed never knew a PartyWoman that kept her Beauty for a Twelvemonth. I would therefore advife all my Female Readers, as they value their Complexions, to let alone all Difputes of this Nature; though, at the fame time, I would give free Liberty to all fuperannuated motherly Partizans to be as violent as they pleafe, fince there will be no Danger either of their spoiling their Faces, or of their gaining Converts.

FOR my own part, I think a Man makes an odious and defpicable Figure, that is violent in a Party; but a

Wo

Woman is too fincere to mitigate the Fury of her Principles with Temper and Difcretion, and to act with that Caution and Refervednefs which are requifite in our Sex. When this unnatural Zeal gets into them, it throws them into ten thousand Heats and Extravagancies; their generous Souls fet no Bounds to their Love, or to their Hatred; and whether a Whig or a Tory, a Lap-dog or a Gallant, an Opera or a Puppet-Show, be the Object of it, the Paffion, while it reigns, engroffes the whole Woman.

I remember when Dr. Titus Oates was in all his Glory, I accompanied my Friend WILL HONEYCOMB in a Vifit to a Lady of his Acquaintance: We were no fooner fat down, but upon cafting my Eyes about the Room, I found in almost every Corner of it a Print that reprefented the Doctor in all Magnitudes and Dimenfions. A little after, as the Lady was difcourfing my Friend, and held her Snuff-box in her Hand, who fhould I fee in the Lid of it but the Doctor. It was not long after this, when the had occafion for her Handkerchief, which upon the firft opening difcovered among the Plaits of it the Figure of the Doctor. Upon this my Friend WILL, who loves Rallery, told her, That if he was in Mr. Truelove's Place (for that was the Name of her Husband) he fhould be made as uneafy by a Handkerchief as ever Othello was. I am afraid, faid the, Mr. HONEYCOMB, you are a Tory; tell me truly, are you a Friend to the Doctor or not? WILL, inftead of making her a Reply, fmiled in her Face (for indeed the was very pretty) and told her that one of her Patches was dropping off. She immediately adjusted it, and looking a little ferioufly, Well, fays fhe, I'll be hanged if you and your filent Friend there are not against the Doctor in your Hearts, I fufpected as much by his faying nothing. Upon this fhe took her Fan into her Hand, and upon the opening of it again displayed to us the Figure of the Doctor, who was placed with great Gravity among the Sticks of it. In a word, I found that the Doctor had taken Poffeffion of her Thoughts, her Difcourfe, and most of her Furniture; but finding myfelf preffed too close by her Question, I winked upon my Friend to take his Leave, which he did accordingly.

C

Monday

N° 58.

Monday, May 7.

Ut pictura poefis erit

Hor. Ars Poet. v. 361.

Poems like Pictures are.

is fo much admired, and fo little un

Nderftood, as Wit. No Author that I know of has

written profeffedly upon it; and as for thofe who make any mention of it, they only treat on the Subject as it has accidentally fallen in their Way, and that too in little fhort Reflexions, or in general declamatory Flourifhes, without entring into the Bottom of the Matter. I hope therefore I shall perform an acceptable Work to my Countrymen, if I treat at large upon this Subject; which I fhall endeavour to do in a manner fuitable to it, that I may not incur the Cenfure which a famous Critick beflows upon one who had written a Treatife upon the Sublime in a low groveling Stile. I intend to lay afide a whole Week for this Undertaking, that the Scheme of my Thoughts may not be broken and interrupted; and I dare promise my felf, if my Readers will give me a Week's Attention, that this great City will be very much changed for the better by next Saturday Night. I shall endeavour to make what Í fay intelligible to ordinary Capacities; but if my Readers meet with any Paper that in fome Parts of it may be a little out of their Reach, I would not have them difcouraged, for they may affure themselves the next shall be much clearer.

AS the great and only End of these my Speculations is to banish Vice and Ignorance out of the Territories of、 Great-Britain, I fhall endeavour as much as poffible to establish among us a Tafte of polite Writing. It is with this View that I have endeavoured to fet my Readers right in feveral Points relating to Operas and Tragedies; and fhall from time to time impart my Notions of Comedy, as I think they may tend to its Refinement and Perfection. I find by my Bookfeller that thefe Papers of Criti

cifm,

cifm, with that upon Humour, have met with a more kind Reception than indeed I could have hoped for from fuch Subjects; for which Reason I fhall enter upon my prefent Undertaking with greater Chearfulness.

IN this, and one or two following Papers, I fhall trace out the Hiftory of false Wit, and diftinguish the feveral Kinds of it as they have prevailed in different Ages of the World. This I think the more neceffary at prefent, because I obferved there were Attempts on foot last Winter to revive fome of those antiquated Modes of Wit that have been long exploded out of the Commonwealth of Letters. There were feveral Satires and Panegyricks handed about in Acroftick, by which Means fome of the most arrant undifputed Blockheads about the Town began to entertain ambitious Thoughts, and to fet up for polite Authors. I fhall therefore describe at length thofe many Arts of falfe Wit, in which a Writer does not fhew himfelf a Man of a beautiful Genius, but of great Industry.

THE firft Species of falfe Wit which I have met with is very venerable for its Antiquity, and has produced feveral Pieces which have lived very near as long as the Iliad it felf: I mean those fhort Poems printed among the minor Greek Poets, which refemble the Figure of an Egg, a Pair of Wings, an Ax, a Shepherd's Pipe and an Altar.

AS for the firft, it is a little oval Poem, and may not improperly be called a Scholar's Egg. I would endeavour to hatch it, or, in more intelligible Language, to translate it into English, did not I find the Interpretation of it very difficult; for the Author feems to have been more intent upon the Figure of his Poem, than upon the Senfe of it.

THE Pair of Wings confift of twelve Verses, or rather Feathers, every Verfe decreafing gradually in its Measure according to its Situation in the Wing. The Subject of it (as in the reft of the Poems which follow) bears fome remote Affinity with the Figure, for it defcribes a God of Love, who is always painted with Wings.

THE Ax methinks would have been a good Figure for a Lampoon, had the Edge of it confifted of the most Satirical Parts of the Work; but as it is in the Original, I take it to have been nothing else but the Pofy of an Ax which was confecrated to Minerva, and was thought to have been the fame that Epeus made use of in the building

of