• Petits Efprits, fuch things as are our Upper-Gallery Audience in a Play-houfe; who like nothing but the Husk and Rind of Wit, prefer a Quibble, a Conceit, an Epigram, before folid Senfe and elegant Expreffion: Thefe are Mob Readers. If Virgil and Martial stood for Parliament-Men, we know already who would carry it. But though they make the greatest Appearance in the Field, and cry the loudeft, the best on't is they are but a fort of French Huguenots, or Dutch Boors, brought over in Herds, but not Naturalized; 'who have not Lands of two Pounds per Annum in Parnaffus, and therefore are not privileged to poll. Their • Authors are of the fame Level, fit to represent them on 'a Mountebank's Stage, or to be Masters of the Ceremonies in a Bear-garden: Yet these are they who have ⚫ the most Admirers. But it often happens, to their Mortification, that as their Readers improve their Stock of Senfe, (as they may by reading better Books, and by Converfation with Men of Judgment) they foon for'fake them.

I must not difmifs this Subject without obferving, that as Mr. Locke in the Paffage above-mentioned has difcovered the most fruitful Source of Wit, so there is another of a quite contrary Nature to it, which does likewise branch itself out into several kinds. For not only the Refemblance, but the Oppofition of Ideas, does very often produce Wit; as I could fhew in feveral little Points, Turns and Antithefes, that I may poffibly enlarge upon in fome future Speculation.

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Saturday,

N° 63.

Saturday, May 12.

Humano capiti cervicem pictor equinam
Fungere fi velit, & varias inducere plumas,
Undique collatis membris, ut turpiter atrum
Definat in pifcem mulier formofa fupernè:
Spectatum admiffi rifum teneatis amici?
Credite, Pifones, ifti tabule fore librum
Perfimilem, cujus, velut ægri fomnia, vanæ
Finguntur fpecies

Hor. Ars Poet. v. 1.

If in a Picture, Pifo, you fou'd fee
A bandfom Woman with a Fish's Tail,
Or a Man's Head upon a Horfe's Neck,

Or Limbs of Beafts, of the most different kinds,
Cover'd with Feathers of all forts of Birds;
Wou'd you not laugh, and think the Painter mad?
Truft me that Book is as ridiculous,

Whofe incoherent Style, like fick Mens Dreams,
Varies all Shapes, and mixes all Extremes.

ROSCOMMON.

T is very hard for the Mind to difengage itself from a Subject in which it has been long employed. The Thoughts will be rifing of themselves from time to time, tho' we give them no Encouragement; as the Toffings and Fluctuations of the Sea continue feveral Hours after the Winds are laid.

IT is to this that I impute my laft Night's Dream or Vifion, which formed into one continued Allegory the feveral Schemes of Wit, whether False, Mixed, or True, that have been the Subject of my late Papers.

METHOUGHT I was tranfported into a Country, that was filled with Prodigies and Enchantments, governed by the Goddefs of FALS HOOD, and entitled The Region of falfe Wit. There was nothing in the Fields, the Woods, and the Rivers, that appeared natural. Several of the Trees bloffomed in Leaf-Gold, fome of them produced Bone-Lace, and fome of them precious Stones.

The

N° 63. The Fountains bubbled in an Opera Tune, and were filled with Stags, Wild Boars, and Mermaids, that lived among the Waters; at the fame time that Dolphins and several kinds of Fish played upon the Banks or took their Paftime in the Meadows. The Birds had many of them golden Beaks, and human Voices. The Flowers perfumed the Air with Smells of Incenfe, Amber-greafe, and Pulvillio's; and were fo interwoven with one another, that they grew up in Pieces of Embroidery. The Winds were filled with Sighs and Meffages of diftant Lovers. As I was walking to and fro in this enchanted Wildernefs, I could not forbear breaking out into Soliloquies upon the feveral Wonders which lay before me, when to my great Surprise, I found there were artificial Echos in every Walk, that by Repetitions of certain Words which I fpoke, agreed with me, or contradicted me, in every thing I faid. In the midst of my Conversation with these Invifible Companions, I difcovered in the Centre of a very dark Grove a monftrous Fabrick built after the Gothick manner, and covered with innumerable Devices in that barbarous kind of Sculpture. I immediately went up to it, and found it to be a kind of Heathen Temple confecrated to the God of Dulness. Upon my Entrance I faw the Deity of the Place dreffed in the Habit of a Monk, with a Book in one Hand and a Rattle in the other. Upon his right Hand was Induftry, with a Lamp burning before her; and on his left Caprice, with a Monkey fitting on her Shoulder. Before his Feet there ftood an Altar of a very odd Make, which, as I afterwards found, was fhaped in that manner to comply with the Infcription that furrounded it. Upon the Altar there lay feveral Offerings of Axes, Wings, and Eggs, cut in Paper, and infcribed with Verles. The Temple was filled with Votaries, who applied themselves to different Diverfions, as their Fancies directed them. In one part of it I faw a Regiment of Anagrams, who were continually in motion, turning to the Right or to the Left, facing about, doubling their Ranks, fhifting their Stations, and throwing themselves into all the Figures, and Counter-marches of the most changeable and perplexed Exercife.

NOT

NOT far from thefe was a Body of Acrofticks, made up of very difproportioned Perfons. It was difpofed into three Columns, the Officers planting themselves in a Line on the left Hand of each Column. The Officers were all of them at least Six Foot high, and made three Rows of very proper Men; but the Common Soldiers, who filled up the Spaces between the Officers, were fuch Dwarfs, Cripples, and Scarecrows, that one could hardly look upon them without laughing. There were behind the Acrofticks two or three Files of Chronograms, which differed only from the former, as their Officers were equipped (like the Figure of Time) with an Hour-glafs in one Hand, and a Scythe in the other, and took their Pofts promifcuously among the private Men whom they commanded.

IN the Body of the Temple, and before the very Face of the Deity, methought I faw the Phantom of Tryphiodorus the Lipogrammatift, engaged in a Ball with four and twenty Perfons, who purfued him by turns thro' all the Intricacies and Labyrinths of a Country Dance, without being able to overtake him.

OBSERVING feveral to be very bufy at the Western End of the Temple, I inquired into what they were doing, and found there was in that Quarter the great Magazine of Rebus's. Thefe were feveral Things of the moft different Natures tied up in Bundles, and thrown upon one another in heaps like Faggots. You might behold an Anchor, a Night-rail, and a Hobby-horse bound up together. One of the Workmen feeing me very much furprised, told me, there was an infinite deal of Wit in feveral of those Bundles, and that he would explain them to me if I pleased; I thanked him for his Civility, but told him I was in very great hafte, at that time. As I was going out of the Temple, I obferved in one Corner of it a Clufter of Men and Women laughing very hear tily, and diverting themselves at a Game of Crambo. I heard feveral Double Rhymes as I paffed by them, which raised a great deal of Mirth.

NOT far from thefe was another Set of merry People engaged at a Diverfion, in which the whole Jeft was to mistake one Perfon for another. To give Occafion for these ludicrous Miftakes, they were divided into Pairs, every Pair being covered from Head to Foot with the

fame

fame kind of Drefs, though perhaps there was not the leaft Refemblance in their Faces. By this means an old Man was fometimes mistaken for a Boy, a Woman for a Man, and a Black-a-moor for an European, which very often produced great Peals of Laughter. Thefe I gueffed to be a Party of Puns. But being very defirous to get out of this World of Magick, which had almoft turned my Brain, I left the Temple, and crossed over the Fields that lay about it with all the Speed I could make. I was not gone far before I heard the Sound of Trumpets and Alarms, which feemed to proclaim the March of an Enemy; and, as I afterwards found, was in reality what I apprehended it. There appeared at a great Distance a very shining Light, and, in the midft of it, a Person of a most beautiful Afpect; her Name was TRUTH. On her right Hand there marched a Male Deity, who bore feveral Quivers on his Shoulders, and grasped several Arrows in his Hand. His Name was Wit. The Approach of these two Enemies filled all the Territories of Falfe Wit with an unfpeakable Confternation, infomuch that the Goddess of those Regions appeared in Perfon upon her Frontiers, with the feveral inferior Deities, and the different Bodies of Forces which I had before seen in the Temple, who were now drawn up in Array, and prepared to give their Foes a warm Reception. As the March of the Enemy was very flow, it gave time to the several Inhabitants who bordered upon the Regions of FALS HOOD to draw their Forces into a Body, with a Defign to ftand upon their Guard as Neuters, and attend the Iffue of the Combat.

I must here inform my Reader, that the Frontiers of the Enchanted Region, which I have before described, were inhabited by the Species of MIXED WIT, who made a very odd Appearance when they were mustered together in an Army. There were Men whofe Bodies were stuck full of Darts, and Women whose Eyes were Burning-glaffes: Men that had Hearts of Fire, and Women that had Breafts of Snow. It would be endless to defcribe feveral Monsters of the like Nature, that compofed this great Army; which immediately fell afunder and divided itself into two Parts, the one half throwing themselves behind the Banners of TRUTH, and the others behind thofe of FALS HOOD.

THE