WHEN Men are thus knit together, by a Love of Society, not a Spirit of Faction, and don't meet to cenfure or annoy those that are absent, but to enjoy one another; When they are thus combined for their own Improvement, or for the Good of others, or at least to relax themselves from the Business of the Day, by an innocent and chearful Converfation, there may be fomething very ufeful in these little Inftitutions and Establishments. I cannot forbear concluding this Paper with a Scheme of Laws that I met with upon a Wall in a little Alehoufe: How I came thither I may inform my Reader at a more convenient time. These Laws were enacted by a Knot of Artifans and Mechanicks, who used to meet every Night; and as there is fomething in them which gives us a pretty Picture of low Life, I fhall tranfcribe them Word for Word. ! RULES to be observed in the Two-Penny Club, erected in this Place, for the Prefervation of Friendship and good Neighbourhood. I. EVERY Member at his firft coming in fhall lay down his Two-Pence. II. EVERY Member hall fill his Pipe out of his own Box. III. IF any Member abfents himfelf he fhall forfeit a Penny for the Ufe of the Club, unless in case of Sickness or Imprisonment. IV. IF any Member fwears or curfes, his Neighbour may give him a Kick V. IF any upon the Shins. Member tells Stories in the Club that are not true, he fhall forfeit for every third Lye an Half penny. VÍ. IF any Member ftrikes another wrongfully, he fhall pay his Club for him. VII. If any Member brings his Wife into the Club, he fhall pay for whatever she drinks or smokes. VIII. If any Member's Wife comes to fetch him home from the Club, she shall speak to him without the Door. IX. IF any Member calls another Cuckold, he shall be turned out of the Club. X. NONE X. NONE fhall be admitted into the Club that is of the fame Trade with any Member of it. XI. NONE of the Club fhall have his Clothes or Shoes made or mended, but by a Brother-Member. XII. NO Non-juror fhall be capable of being a Member. THE Morality of this little Club is guarded by fuch wholfom Laws and Penalties, that I queition not but my Reader will be as well pleafed with them, as he would have been with the Leges Convivales of Ben Johnson, the Regulations of an old Roman Club cited by Lipfius, or the Rules of a Symposium in an ancient Greek Author. N° 10. Monday, March 12. Non aliter quàm qui adverfo vix flumine lembum So the Boat's brawny Crew the Current ftem, Tis with much Satisfaction that I hear this great City inquiring Day by Day after these my Papers, and receiving my Morning Lectures with a becoming Serioufnefs and Attention. My Publifher tells me, that there are already Three Thousand of them diftributed_every Day: So that if I allow Twenty Readers to every Paper, which I look upon as a modeft Computation, I may reckon about Threefcore Thousand Disciples in London and Westminster, who I hope will take care to diftinguish themfelves from the thoughtless Herd of their ignorant and unattentive Brethren. Since I have raised to my self fo great an Audience, I fhall fpare no Pains to make their Inftruction Inftruction agreeable, and their Diverfion useful. For which Reasons I fhall endeavour to enliven Morality with Wit, and to temper Wit with Morality, that my Readers may, if poffible, both Ways find their Account in the Speculation of the Day. And to the end that their Virtue and Difcretion may not be fhort tranfient intermitting Starts of Thought, I have refolved to refresh their Memories from Day to Day, till I have recovered them out of that defperate State of Vice and Folly into which the Age is fallen. The Mind that lies fallow but a fingle Day, fprouts up in Follies that are only to be killed by a conftant and affiduous Culture. It was faid of Socrates, that he brought Philofophy down from Heaven, to inhabit among Men; and I fhall be ambitious to have it faid of me, that I have brought Philofophy out of Closets and Libraries, Schools and Colleges, to dwell in Clubs and Affemblies, at Tea-Tables and in Coffee-Houses. I would therefore in a very particular Manner recommend these my Speculations to all well-regulated Families, that fet apart an Hour in every Morning for Tea and Bread and Butter; and would earnestly advise them for their Good to order this Paper to be punctually ferved up, and to be looked upon as a Part of the Tea-Equipage. SIR Francis Bacon obferves, that a well-written Book, compared with its Rivals and Antagonists, is like Mofes's Serpent, that immediately fwallowed up and devoured thofe of the Egyptians. I fhall not be fo vain as to think, that where the SPECTATOR appears, the other publick Prints will vanish; but fhall leave it to my Reader's Confideration, whether it is not much better to be let into the Knowledge of ones felf, than to hear what paffes in Mofcovy or Poland; and to amuse our felves with fuch Writings as tend to the wearing out of Ignorance, Paffion, and Prejudice, than fuch as naturally conduce to inflame Hatreds, and make Enmities irreconcilable. IN the next Place I would recommend this Paper to the daily Perufal of those Gentlemen whom I cannot but confider as my good Brothers and Allies, I mean the Fraternity of Spectators, who live in the World without having any thing to do in it; and either by the Affluence of their Fortunes, or Laziness of their Difpofitions, have no no other Bufinefs with the rest of Mankind, but to look upon them. Under this Clafs of Men are comprehended all contemplative Tradefmen, titular Phyficians, Fellows of the Royal Society, Templars that are not given to be contentious, and Statesmen that are out of Business; in fhort, every one that confiders the World as a Theatre, and defires to form a right Judgment of those who are the Actors on it. THERE is another Set of Men that I must likewife lay a Claim to, whom I have lately called the Blanks of Society, as being altogether unfurnished with Ideas, till the Bufinefs and Converfation of the Day has fupplied them. I have often confidered these poor Souls with an Eye of great Commiferation, when I have heard them asking the first Man they have met with, whether there was any News ftirring? and by that Means gathering together Materials for Thinking. These needy Perfons do not know what to talk of, 'till about Twelve o'Clock in the Morning; for by that Time they are pretty good Judges of the Weather, know which Way the Wind fits, and whether the Dutch Mail be come in. As they lie at the Mercy of the firft Man they meet, and are grave or impertinent all the Day long, according to the Notions which they have imbibed in the Morning, I would earnestly intreat them not to flir out of their Chambers till they have read this Paper, and do promife them that I will daily inftil into them fuch found and wholfom Sentiments, as fhall have a good Effect on their Converfation for the enfuing twelve Hours. BUT there are none to whom this Paper will be more useful, than to the Female World. I have often thought there has not been fufficient Pains taken in finding out proper Employments and Diverfions for the Fair ones. Their Amufements feem contrived for them, rather as they are Women, than as they are reasonable Creatures; and are more adapted to the Sex than to the Species. The Toilet is their great Scene of Bufinefs, and the right adjusting of their Hair the principal Employment of their Lives. The forting of a Suit of Ribbons is reckon'd a very good Morning's Work; and if they make an Excurfion to a Mercer's or a Toy-fhop, fo great a Fatigue makes them unfit for any thing else all all the Day after. Their more ferious Occupations are Sewing and Embroidery, and their greateft Drudgery the Preparation of Jellies and Sweet-meats. This, I fay, is the State of ordinary Women; tho' I know there are Multitudes of thofe of a more elevated Life and Converfation, that move in an exalted Sphere of Knowledge and Virtue, that join all the Beauties of the Mind to the Ornaments of Drefs, and inspire a kind of Awe and Refpect, as well as Love, into their Male-Beholders. I hope to increase the Number of these by Publishing this daily Paper, which I fhall always endeavour to make an innocent if not an improving Entertainment, and by that Means at least divert the Minds of my Female Readers from greater Trifles. At the fame Time, as I would fain give fome finishing Touches to those which are already the most beautiful Pieces in Human Nature, I shall endeavour to point out all thofe Imperfections that are the Blemishes, as well as thofe Virtues which are the Embellishments, of the Sex. In the mean while I hope thefe my gentle Readers, who have fo much Time on their Hands, will not grudge throwing away a Quarter of an Hour in a Day on this Paper, fince they may do it without any Hindrance to Business. I know feveral of my Friends and Well-wishers are in great Pain for me, left I should not be able to keep up the Spirit of a Paper which I oblige my self to furnish every Day: But to make them eafy in this Particular, I will promife them faithfully to give it over as foon as I grow dull. This I know will be Matter of great Rallery to the fmall Wits; who will frequently put me in mind of my Promife, defire me to keep my Word, affure me that it is high Time to give over, with many other little Pleafantries of the like Nature, which Men of a little smart Genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best Friends, when they have such a Handle given them of being witty. But let them remember that I do hereby enter my Caveat against this Piece of Rallery. C Turfday, |