Spectators make up a proper Affembly for a Puppet• Show or a Bear Garden; but devout Supplicants and ⚫ attentive Hearers, are the Audience one ought to expect in Churches. I am, Sir, Member of a small pious Congregation near one of the North Gates of this City; much the greater Part of us indeed are Females, and ufed to behave ourselves in a regular attentive manner, till very lately one whole Ifle has been difturbed with one of these monftrous Starers; he's the Head taller than any one in the Church; but for the greater Advantage of expofing himfelf, ftands upon a Hallock, and commands the whole Congregation, to the great Annoyance of the devoutest Part of the Auditory; for what with Blushing, Confufion, and Vexation, we can neither mind the Prayers nor Sermon. Your Animadverfion upon this Infolence would be a great Favour to,

SIR,

Your anof bumble Servant,

S. C.

I have frequently feen of this fort of Fellows, and do not think there can be a greater Aggravation of an Offence, than that it is committed where the Criminal is protected by the Sacredness of the Place which he violates. Many Reflexions of this fort might be very justly made upon this kind of Behaviour, but a Starer is not ufually a Perfon to be convinced by the Reason of the thing, and a Fellow that is capable of fhewing an impudent Front before a whole Congregation, and can bear being a publick Spectacle, is not fo eafily rebuked as to amend by Admonitions. If therefore my Correfpondent does not inform me, that within feven Days after this Date the Barbarian does not at least fand upon his own Legs only, without an Eminence, my Friend Will Profper has promifed to take an Haffock oppofite to him, and ftare against him in Defence of the Iadies. I have given him Directions, according to the most exact Rules of Opticks, to place himself in fuch a manner that he fhall meet his Eyes where-ever

ха

he

he throws thein: I have Hopes that when Will cofronts him, and all the Ladies, in whofe Behalf he engages him, caft kind Looks and Wishes of Succefs at their Champion, he will have fome Shame, and feel a little of the Pain he has fo often put others to, of being out of Countenance.

IT has indeed been Time out of Mind generally remarked, and as often lamented, that this Family of Starers have infested publick Affemblies: And I know no other Way to obviate fo great an Evil, except, in the Cafe of fixing their Eyes upon Women, fome Male Friend will take the Part of fuch as are under the Oppreffion of Impudence, and encounter the Eyes of the Starers wherever they meet them. While we fuffer our Women to be thus impudently attacked, they have no Defence, but in the End to caft yielding Glances at the Starers: And in this Cafe, a Man who has no Senfe of Shame has the fame Advantage over his Miftrefs, as he who has no regard for his own Life has over his Adverfary. While the Generality of the World are fettered by Rules and move by proper and juft Methods; he who has no Refpect to any of them, carries away the Reward due to that Propriety of Behaviour, with no other Merit, but that of having neglected it.

I take an impudent Fellow to be a fort of Outlaw in Good-breeding, and therefore what is faid of him no Nation or Perfon can be concerned for. For this Reafon, one may be free upon him. I have put myself to great Pains in confidering this prevailing Quality which we call Impudence, and have taken notice that it exerts itself in a different manner according to the dif ferent Soils wherein fuch Subjects of thefe Dominions, as are Mafters of it, were born. Impudence in an Englishman is fullen and infolent; in a Scotchman it is untractable and rapacious; in an Irishman abfurd and fawning: As the Courfe of the World now runs, the impudent Englishman behaves like a furly Landlord, the Scot like an ill received Gueft, and the Irishman like a Stranger who knows he is not welcome. There is feldom any thing entertaining either in the Impudence of a South or North-Briton; but that of an Irishmen is

always

always Comick: A true and genuine Impudence is ever the Effect of Ignorance, without the leaft Senfe of it: The best and moft fuccefsful Starers now in this Town, are of that Nation; they have ufually the Advantage of the Stature mentioned in the above Letter of my Correfpondent, and generally take their Stands in the Eye of Women of Fortune: Infomuch that I have known one of them, three Months after he came from Plough, with a tolerable good Air lead out a Woman from a Play, which one of our own Breed, after four Years at Oxford, and two at the Temple, would have been afraid to look at.

I cannot tell how to account for it, but these People have ufually the Preference to our own Fools, in the Opinion of the fillier Part of Womankind. Perhaps it is that an English Coxcomb is feldom fo obfequious as an Irish one; and when the Defign of pleafing is vifible, an Abfurdity in the Way toward it is eafily forgiven.

BUT those who are downright impudent, and go on without Reflexion that they are fuch, are more to be tolerated, than a fet of Fellows among us who profefs Impudence with an Air of Humour, and think to carry off the most inexcufable of all Faults in the World, with no other Apology than faying in a gay Tone, I put an Impudent Face upon the Matter. No; no Man fhall be allowed the Advantages of Impudence, who is conscious that he is fuch: If he knows he is impudent, he may as well be otherwife; and it fhall be expected that he blush, when he fees he makes another do it. For nothing can atone for the Want of Modefty; without which Beauty is ungraceful, and Wit deteftable.

R

Saturday,

N° 21. Saturday, March 24.

I

Locus eft & pluribus Umbris.

Hor. Ep. 5. 1. 1. v. 28.

There's room enough, and each may bring his Friend. CREECH.

AM fometimes very much troubled, when I reflect upon the three great Profeffions of Divinity, Law, and Phyfick; how they are each of them overburdened with Practitioners, and filled with multitudes of Ingenious Gentlemen that ftarve one another.

WE may divide the Clergy into Generals, FieldOfficers, and Subalterns. Among the first we may reckon Bishops, Deans, and Arch-Deacons. Among the fecond are Doctors of Divinity, Prebendaries, and all that wear Scarves. The reft are comprehended under the Subalterns. As for the firft Clafs, our Conftitution preferves it from any redundancy of Incumbents, notwithftanding Competitors are numberlefs. Upon a strict Calculation, it is found that there has been a great Exceeding of late Years in the fecond Divifion, feveral Brevets having been granted for the converting of Subalterns into Scarf-Officers; infomuch that within my Memory the Price of Luteftring is raised above two Pence in a Yard. As for the Subalterns they are not to be numbred. Should our Clergy once enter into the corrupt Practice of the Laity, by the splitting of their Freeholds, they would be able to carry most of the Elections in England.

THE Body of the Law is no less incumbered with fuperfluous Members, that are like Virgil's Army, which he tells us was fo crouded, many of them had not Room to use their Weapons. This prodigious Society of Men may be divided into the Litigious and Peaceable. Under the first are comprehended all those who are carried down in Coach-fulls to Weftminster-Hall, every Morning

Morning in Term-time. Martial's Defcription of this Species of Lawyers is full of Humour :

Iras & verba locant.

Men that hire out their Words and Anger; that are more or lefs paffionate according as they are paid for it, and allow their Client a quantity of Wrath proportionable to the Fee which they receive from him. I muft however observe to the Reader, that above three Farts of thofe whom I reckon among the Litigious are fuch as are only quarrelfom in their Hearts, and have no Opportunity of fhewing their Paffion at the Bar. Nevertheless, as they do not know what Strifes may arife, they appear at the Hall every Day, that they may fhew themfelves in a Readiness to enter the Lifts, whenever there shall be Occafion for them.

THE Peaceable Lawyers are, in the first place, many of the Benchers of the feveral Inns of Court, who seem to be the Dignitaries of the Law, and are endowed with thofe Qualifications of Mind that accomplish a Man rather for a Ruler than a Pleader. These Men live peaceably in their Habitations, eating once a Day, and dancing once a Year, for the Honour of their refpective Societies.

ANOTHER numberless Branch of Peaceable Lawyers, are those young Men who being placed at the Inns of Court in order to ftudy the Laws of their Country, frequent the Play-houfe more than Weftminster-Hall, and are feen in all publick Affemblies, except in a Court of Juftice. I fhall fay nothing of thofe Silent and Bufy Multitudes that are employed within Doors in the drawing up of Writings and Conveyances; nor of thofe greater Numbers that palliate their want of Business with a Pretence to fuch Chamber-practice.

IF, in the third place, we look into the Profeffion of Phyfick, we fhall find a most formidable Body of Men: The Sight of them is enough to make a Man ferious, for we may lay it down as a Maxim, that when a Nation abounds in Phyficians it grows thin of People. Sir William Temple is very much puzzled to find out a Reason why the Northern Hive, as he calls it, does not send out fuch prodigious Swarms, and over-run the World with Gotis and Vandals, as it did formerly; but had that excellent Author