Country Matters: The Pleasures and Tribulations of Moving from a Big City to an Old Country Farmhouse

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Harper Collins, 2009 M03 17 - 320 pages

“Dreaming of moving to the country? First, read Michael Korda’s engaging memoir. City types will find laughter, profit, and fair warning in Country Matters.” —Washington Post

With his inimitable sense of humor and storytelling talent, New York Times bestselling author Michael Korda brings us this charming, hilarious, self-deprecating memoir of a city couple's new life in the country.

At once entertaining, canny, and moving, Country Matters does for Dutchess County, New York, what Under the Tuscan Sun did for Tuscany. This witty memoir, replete with Korda's own line drawings, reads like a novel, as it chronicles the author's transformation from city slicker to full-time country gentleman, complete with tractors, horses, and a leaking roof.

When he decides to take up residence in an eighteenth-century farmhouse in Dutchess County, ninety miles north of New York City, Korda discovers what country life is really like:

  • Owning pigs, more than owning horses, even more than owning the actual house, firmly anchored the Kordas as residents in the eyes of their Pleasant Valley neighbors.
  • You may own your land, but without concertina barbed wire, or the 82nd Airborne on patrol, it's impossible to keep people off it!
  • It's possible to line up major household repairs over a tuna melt sandwich.

The locals are not particularly quick to accept these outsiders, and the couple's earliest interactions with their new neighbors provide constant entertainment, particularly when the Kordas discover that hunting season is a year-round event—right on their own land! From their closest neighbors, mostly dairy farmers, to their unforgettable caretaker Harold Roe—whose motto regarding the local flora is "Whack it all back! "—the residents of Pleasant Valley eventually come to realize that the Kordas are more than mere weekenders.

Sure to have readers in stitches, this is a book that has universal appeal for all who have ever dreamed of owning that perfect little place to escape to up in the country, or, more boldly, have done it.

 

Contents

CHAPTER ONE He Dont Know Shit About Septics
1
CHAPTER TWO Asleep at the Switch
17
CHAPTER THREE Whack It All Back
23
CHAPTER SIX Thems Nice Pigs Them Pigs
55
CHAPTER TEN Bats in the Belfry
119
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Nature Green of Tooth and Claw
152
CHAPTER TWENTYTWO The Sporting Instinct
247
CHAPTER TWENTYFOUR Change and Decay
271
CHAPTER TWENTYFIVE No Place Like Home
286
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Page 286 - MID pleasures and palaces though we may roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home!
Page 235 - My husband's very good to me, he brings me an early morning cup of tea on Sundays!» Then, in the words of the song: «At half-past eleven, my idea of heaven is a nice cup of tea.» In the working day, the most important times for it are the breaks in the middle of the morning and in the middle of the afternoon and this makes the work bearable for many people. Later there's always a moment when somebody says: «I feel like a cup of tea.» The evening at home wouldn't be...
Page 289 - A&P to another three slots away to make one feel a part of the community. It's hard to know what kind of secret might be worth keeping once people have heard how many times you had to change your Depends adult diaper yesterday.
Page 289 - Or perhaps it's part of the aging process — after all, we've lived here for more than twenty years. There's no way to pretend that it's a weekend home at this point, or that any really important part of our lives (except my job) takes place elsewhere. For better or...
Page 20 - ... our immediate neighbors to the south, also mercifully hidden, were a huge family with many snarling dogs and no-neck teenage children, living in the middle of a kind of mini wrecking yard of worn-out snowmobiles and pickup trucks in a ramshackle house...
Page 129 - Kingdom would not be involved in a major war for the next ten years. From year to year the Ten Year Rule...
Page 21 - ... noise of revving chain saws, chained dogs barking, and the occasional gunshot. That this was not Walden Pond did not dismay us, even as we discovered the fact bit by bit.
Page 219 - By the time the magnificent meal was ready, we were all so tired that we could hardly keep our eyes open to eat it.
Page 5 - Roots, at some basic psychological level, in my case at any rate, require land, trees, a place in a community with some sort of history.
Page 3 - I abandoned our guests from time to time to see how the work was getting on and bring Harold and Turk iced tea.

About the author (2009)

Michael Korda is the author of Ulysses S. Grant, Ike, Hero, and Charmed Lives. Educated at Le Rosey in Switzerland and at Magdalen College, Oxford, he served in the Royal Air Force. He took part in the Hungarian Revolution of 1956 and on its fiftieth anniversary was awarded the Order of Merit of the People's Republic of Hungary. He and his wife, Margaret, make their home in Dutchess County, New York.

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