its worst. Anything like cruelty, insult, or result had happened to him also, for he "had even rudeness, I never committed, or had any looked on the labor that he had labored to do: desire to commit: I was shown to be a mon- and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of ster only by the negative proof. Wandering spirit, and there was no profit under the sun." aimless over London, eating solitary dinners "Young man," said he, fixing those merciat chop houses, unable to apply myself to any less gray eyes upon my face, "you were action, unstrung and jaded, and dreading al- thinking whether death itself were not to be ways to return to my unhappy home, I pass- preferred to the life you live. You have no ed those weary days. I wondered, as I watch-friends-no, not one; you are poor-depened the lonely well-dressed men that saunter dent, perhaps, upon another; you would all the noon about the streets, or those of an change lots with nine men out of ten that are inferior grade that hang in knots at corners passing by at this moment." of the mighty thoroughfares, but clustered there only for a few hours, and clearly not habitual companions, whether there could be one so desolate as I-I, that had wife and mother, and acquaintances in crowds; and whether there was one who, looking in my heart, would come to change his lot with mine, who had a house, at least, to cover me, and food and even money at command.

But I had not money enough, nor nearly so; I wanted pleasure, excitement, the fever and delirium of life, to waken me from my gloomy torpor, and I was still not selfish enough to purchase that at the price of another's ruin. Our income was just enough; the little beyond it I had once been able to procure by my pen, I could procure no longer: that "Lucky you have not to get your bread by your wits, James," paralyzed my brain.

"My lord," said I, "I would change lots with any one of them." The face of the old man lit up with interest at these words.

be

"You know me, then, and therefore know that I can do whatever takes my will. Now, would you give up parents, children, wife, and name, and even country; would you content to begin the wide world afresh-I say, would you become another man, for gold enough and lands and houses in exchange?" I knew this man could do whatever thing he would; my heart beat high with hope of escaping from my bonds.

Firmly, and quite collectedly, I said: "I would do this."

"Remember, boy, this lies at your own door, then," said Lord Fordyce. "A whole week yet shall elapse before you cross a gulf that cannot be passed over from the other side. At this spot, and at this time, we meet again in seven days. Take thoughtful heed to what you then shall do."

It was about six months after marriage that the event occurred which withdrew me from my former existence, and placed me in my present life. I was gazing in at the great That week I passed in a strange state of exprintshop beyond the Haymarket Theatre, hilaration. I had no doubt of the change awaitone afternoon, looking earnestly at the mould- ing me: I made my preparations as though it ings of the frames, at the names of the en- would certainly take place. I was more affecgravers, at the titles of the dedicatees at tionately behaved towards my poor wife, for anything, in short, that would not interrupt that short time, than I could have thought posmy course of meditation-when I became sible. I felt the sort of attachment and melansuddenly aware that I was being watched: choly interest in her we feel towards mere acin the dark shadow of a print before me, I quaintances when we or they are upon the caught the reflex of a pair of eyes that seem-point of setting out upon a long travel and for ed to read right through me. I turned round many years. I put aside, so as to be easily disslowly, and recognized at once one whose covered after my departure, a statement of my name, and wealth, and writings were at that determination to absent myself from her for time the talk of half the civilized world-a ever. All blame I laid upon myself, as, indeed, little sallow old man, dressed in an attire of I might well do, and bade her adieu in kindly nearly "sixty years since;" his tall, narrow but unloving terms. My whole property brimmed hat, his drab breeches, his bright placed legally in her own hands. I do not Hessian boots, at once declared to me that know, even at this time, had my wife shown mysterious being, hard, dry, and cynical, who much pleasure at my novel kindness, and rehad exhausted life at an age when most men paid it with warmth on her own part, whether were commencing it, and was looking, ac-I might not have been shaken in my purpose. cording to his own confession, for death-as, I shall not forget her look of wonder at the it might be, for a novel sensation; at one unaccustomed kiss I gave her tenderly as I left time the richest, at all times the most accomplished man in Europe, whose experience had been equal to that of the preacher's of old: "Whatsoever his eyes had desired he had kept not from them; who had withheld not his heart from any joy." And the like

I

her upon that fatal morning. I am not surprised that she so readily believed the seeming proofs, that subsequently came to light, of my having put an end to myself.

In the same place, at the appointed hour, I found the man awaiting me. He saw by the

expression of my face that I was still deter-"bronze;" my hair, which had been of a light mined to accept his offer, and as we drove along tint, was now as black as ebony; short black together in a hired cab, rehearsed the condi-moustaches were upon my upper lip; and, ye tions of our bargain. I was to submit to any gods! ear-rings-little gold ear-rings, upon alterations in my personal appearance he either cheek! An enormous portmanteau lay thought fit; until his death occurred, or ten in a corner of the room, inscribed: “Mr. Euyears had passed away, I never was to reveal gene Lecroix, Antigua." One frantic effort I myself, nor disclose my name to any of my made, with soap and brush, that reminded me ald companions whosoever; I was to come to of the washing of the blackamoor, and I sank him whenever he so wished it, and see him at down exhausted with my fruitless labor, with least four times within the year. In return, I all the languor that was peculiar to my now was to receive the sum of £50,000. native clime.

I thought of every possible contingency Putting on a magnificent crimson dressingalas! save one that could occur to make gown, that made me look like Othello in the this bargain insupportable; but the touch and play, I entered the sitting-room: the card of sight of the cheque he put into my hand for one of the merchant-princes of the city lay the whole amount the visions of vague but upon the table; a note also, informing me that brilliant joys that thronged my brain-the £50,000 had been paid into his house for me, consciousness especially of vast and independ- and offering to introduce me, fresh from my ent power, would have drowned in a sea of far-western home - that was, if he had but dazzling expectation far greater scruples and known it, Paddington-to every thing and objections than mine. I scarcely attended to my every body. companion, such dreams were in my mind. He A jerk at the bell brought up a mulatto knew what was beating at my heart, and flush-servant; he had been ordered to attend upon ing my forehead, and smiled sardonically. If me as cicerone by the great lord. It was a anything would have made me hesitate, it would rare notion, and tickled me amazingly, that I, have been that curling lip; it told of knowledge, who had become in my wanderings perfectly indeed, but of the bitter and forbidden fruit acquainted with every part of town, should of it; of power, too, but likewise of contempt have it explained and expatiated upon by a of power. To me, he was as a grown-up man black fellow. that grimly smiles on a poor boy who has his Rich as I was, it seemed my riches had been school-time yet to come; a skilful surgeon magnified. Quite an army of waiters were watching a curious case he well knows must drawn up in the hall to do obeisance as I end fatally-nay, rather experimentalizing left the house; the landlord himself— whom I on it, without more care or tenderness than the recognized by not having seen him before, sharp, cold blade of his own lancet. We stop-when I was plain Mr. Branksome-held the ped in Golden Square, at a great dingy house, great door wide open, and "ducked" profoundly and were ushered into a parlor, lit up by can- as I passed him. My get-up was of the comdle-light, upon whose table there lay fruits and pletest: a private cab, with an unexceptionwine; some strange preserve, of which he ate able horse and tiger, was in waiting, and off I but sparingly, was more delicious than aught I drove, amidst a murmur of applause, to Lomhad ever tasted. In spite of my anxiety and bard Street. I strode through the swinging excitement, a dreamy, soothing sensation fell portals into the great changing-room, and upon me after I had partaken of it. I could thence, by the "Open-Sesame" of my name, not keep my eyes from closing heavily again into the sanctum sanctorum of the merchant. and again, recovering myself each time with The wrinkles of the dry old man smoothed off greater difficulty; and at last giving up the at my approach, his white lips puckered into struggle, I fell into a profound slumber. I parodies of smiles. "His lordship had inknow not how long I slept. When I awoke, I formed him "Of what?" I broke out found myself in a hotel in Jermyn Street that indignantly, for our bargain included silencewas familiar to me the same, indeed, where- my patron's part equally with my own. in I had passed my honey-moon. What most my vast expectations, and present great possurprised me, as I looked around, was the ex-sessions in the West Indies. Could he be of traordinary suppleness of my neck. Upon any service? His little place down in Surrey reaching my hand up to it, also, I felt a free- was entirely at my disposal. Mrs. Guestrode ness of limb that I had never before experi- and his daughters would be so delighted." I enced. Casting my gaze upon it for the first thought the delight of these young ladies would time, I beheld the skin of a West Indian: I have been mitigated could they but have had become a Creole! Upon springing out of guessed at poor Mrs. Branksome, but professed bed to the pier-glass, I found the reflex of a proper fervor of desire to be presented to quite another person than myself. I was meta- them. I drew £1,000, settled about the inmorphosed, not unfavorably, into a polished vestment of the rest, and took my departure,

"Of

gracefully attended by the old gentleman, to the door of his den..

I felt scarcely any scruples about the vexation I must have been causing to my deserted wife and the rest of my relatives; I tried to assure myself that they felt as indifferent to me as I to them; I portrayed to myself the future, and the delights that wealth should offer me, and shut out from my remembrance every picture of the past. I was happy in an anticipation rarely, and in a fulfilment never the mammon-god had, indeed, taken me for

his own.

closing words spoiled all: "This poor young man, you should remember was your relative, and that we should not speak ill against the dead;" for dead I was supposed by all to be. A body had been picked up down the river, in too decomposed a state to be recognized, and that body personated me.

66

Whenever I mentioned my former selfmiserable eves-dropper as I was-I never heard much good of it. The publishers trod heaviest on my vanity of all (for my passion for print was as strong as ever, and much more easily gratified, in that the West Indian milThe thoughts and acts of the early part of lionaire, with lifelike sketches of his own luxmy second life are almost passed away from urient property, was not a contributor to be my mind; but I well remember an advertise- sneezed at): my relative, Branksome, I was ment in the Times newspaper, from my dear informed, in answer to kind inquiries, could mother, that wrung even my heart: "If James neither imagine nor describe, told truth-ill, would return to them, only return, and deliver and lied ungracefully; and the worst of it was, them from their suspense, a separation be- poor devil! had drowned himself, because his tween him and Lucy should be effected imme-articles were so often rejected. So deter diately." And shall I ever forget, while life mined was the act of suicide, that he had put lasts, this second notice, a few months after my one of his own essays in each pocket to sink change? "James, by a father's name, if you him." If the wit could but have looked into the are yet alive, you are entreated to come home, heart of his smiling listener, it would have or write, if it be but one single word." Yes, I, damped his merriment, and altered his opinthat had neither name, nor friend, nor tie up-ions on one or two subjects. on this earth, as I had thought-I, who had dreamed of escaping from myself and all that belonged to me, had now. -a son. How I cursed my wealth and him that gave it; the cold, hard, childless man, who held me to my bond for all my prayers, and analyzed my father-thoughts and natural love with such proud scorn, and made me butt for his sharp, bitter shafts of worldly wit and bad experience; ay, dead though he be, I curse him to this hour!

Moreover, casually, at club-houses, I met with old acquaintances by scores -men with whom I had been hand and glove, social, friendly, and even sympathetic; and I learned, as few ever learn, how soon and utterly the remembrance of the dead is swept awayhow ill it would fare with them could they return among the places that refuse to know them more.

was

As for my brother, he had long been made a college don; and when I sat next to him Through my whole new reckless life, the once at the vice-chancellor's, the worst he had knowledge that the attention paid to me was to say of me was, that I had "thrown my time due to my wealth alone, I never could cheat away at the university, married early, and myself into forgetting. Naturally of a warm ended"--I think he said—" injudiciously." and friendly temperament, but possessing as My new associates were generally the well a keen insight into the character of oth-higher class of "men about town," guardsmen, ers, I found fresh friends-that I could call attachés, young M. P.'s; and such like. such even for an hour-impossible to gain. They pleased me best, because what little Sometimes, indeed, I met an old one Clem- kindly warmth lay in them—the outer coat ent, for instance, whom I had used so ill at of artificial ice first broken throughcollege and sad, indeed, such meetings were easily accessible. They were, indeed, incapafor me. It was at a great colonial dinner-party, ble of friendship; but, alas! was I the man where governors, and judges, and consuls were that dared cast stones at them for that? Arm as plentiful as pine-apples, that I found myself in arm with one of these nil admirari folk, it next to his Excellency of Boonipootang. was a terrible thing for me to meet my fell enChanged almost as much as I myself, was that chanter. He was getting very old and feeble, clever, honest man from the fast fellow-com- and his ghastly smiles struck home through my moner I had known him—but ah! how much soul. When young Frank Pretyman, M. P., observed of him, that he was "a rich feller, but deals with the dayvil, don't he?" it gave me quite a shock. His lordship never asked me any questions now about my state of mind; a look at me from those yet sharp eyes of his was quite sufficient. Indeed, what with my color, and the dropping in of my cheeks, and

for the better!

I recalled his college-life to him by cunning questions; I interested and drew him towards me, as of old; I dared even to mention my old name to him, as of one unknown to myself, but distantly related. He drew my portrait far more favorably than I had hoped, but his

as I had expected, Mrs. Branksome was happy to have the pleasure of Mr. Eugene Lecroix's company at tea. Mother, and wife, and son, I was to meet that night as three utter strangers!

lack-lustre, used-up expression altogether, it to visit me; and finally, when voices called was hard for my very self to believe in my own him from below, I won his heart by making identity. Ah! how, even in writing of these him a present of the telescope. That evening, things, do I keep clear of the only subject that really interests me in describing this second life of mine, how morbidly do I omit the one thing that was the soul of it! How I craved to look upon that single kindred-face my eyes had still not tired of those unknown but be- My way lay through the church-yard: a loved features of my fatherless child! How, in guilty, selfish wretch I felt myself to have the long dark winter-nights, I have paced, for been and to be; the steady, silent stars scarcely hours, before the house wherein he lay, and looked upon a being more humbled and more prayed God's blessing on him, and watched hateful to himself than I. Now I had reached for him at all times; and in vain! How I mid-manhood, and left all my life behind me begged of my hard task-master to let me but barren of a friend, fertile in despisers, or at reveal myself to my own son, and he would best in commiserators, and dark on every not! Suppose that I should not be able to per- hand with evil deeds; before me, nothingness; suade the child at all that he was mine! sup-in four years' time, leave to reassume my pose that, if I did, he should grow up in hate former name, to be branded as an imposter, and fear of me! What hideous thoughts and or hated as a heartless villain. What money dim forebodings filled my heart! could purchase, indeed, for me it had pur

Four years had yet to pass before I should chased: I had travelled over half Europe be free, when my wife and child left London with four horses; I had drunk of the cup of in the spring, to stay with my mother in Shar-pleasure even to excess-the relish was gone; dale. To be absent altogether from the boy, I had gloated over the beauties of painting I could not bear; and longing to see the an- and sculpture till I had surfeited of both: cient haunts as well, I too started northwards, scenery itself-save that of my native Sharand took a cottage in the valley, not a mile dale-had lost much of its enchantment; from our old home. Ah! sad and strange although, too, my constitution had hitherto seemed every well-known spot-the wood, held out during a course of life whereto I was the mountain, and the tarn, how stern, how driven rather than attracted, I had not the sombre! Not extinct, however, nor even strength of my youth. weakened, was the power of nature; and even in my selfish heart again the chords of thankfulness and joy were stirred, and even in my sunken spirit hope seemed again to spring beneath summer airs and upon the windy hills; but chiefly when the storm was loud, I sought the once-accustomed walk, and heard again the voices of my father and his son, beside me or stood in sorrow by my sister's grave.

I watched the well-known house, while my heart leaped and struggled; I longed to break my wickel oath, and glad my mother's eyes; for my wife, I had no affection, only pity, and the consciousness of the wrong I had done to her; for my son, doting, boundless love. I had seen the little curly-headed fellow within the garden afar off, but Lucy was with him, and I dared not meet her gaze, nor trust even in such disguise as mine to escape her recognition. One day, however, Charley-named after his uncle-not, alas! his father-climbed the hill in front alone. I had a little telescope carried about at all times for such an occasion, and coming up with him, offered it to the boy to look through. How tenderly I altered it to suit his sight, how lovingly I watched his delighted gestures! No kiss was ever half so sweet as that which I imprinted upon his open brow. A long, long talk I had with him, but took care to put no questions yet. I showed him the house I lived at, told him to ask leave

Down the gravel-walk, and underneath the sycamore, and now at the little porch where hangs the red May-rose my sister trained, and I can hear two well-known voices from the sitting-room within, and a young child's laughter; and another voice I hear that is unrecog nized, nor yet altogether strange: now in the tiny hall; and now, great Heaven! at home

once more.

Is this old lady, then, who shakes my hand so warmly, my dear mother? How gray she is! what sadness sits in her mild eyes, and reigns over her quiet smile!--I should not know her, save for those sweet tones. My wife-more beautiful than ever, flushed and happy, with our boy beside her, and a man, who is her lover-there is no deceiving me on the other side, who is-yes-it is Lacy, my old college friend.

"Telescope"-"kindness"-"quite ashamed"

I do not hear what they are saying rightly, but "little Charley" grates upon my ear, and I answer curtly; and then the agony of commonplace, when the heart is full and the brain burns, for hours.

The boy is my companion daily. Lacy and she have other things to attend to and to talk of; but they treat him well, I see, or it were worse for them. Shall I let this marriage be, and suffer my wife to sin in the eyes of the law, and make my own child's mother an

1

adultress? or shall I blast her happiness, and come. As for life beyond the grave, the break my oath, and ruin all, to call my son thought of it was not so fearful as might seem; my own? His father, as he tells me, never I had begun to consider myself" possessed" saw his face, but died ere he was born; Lacy, unaccountable for those dreadful feelings, and it seems, knows the doubt that still exists; but the acts their consequences, that had drawn there are so many years elapsed, and no trace misery upon so many, and that had yet, perhas been discovered of Mr. Branksome's exist- haps, much more to draw. I was become a ence, he has persuaded her to have no doubts fatalist. I do not even now think that it was at all. at any time in my power to overcome my lassitude of affection, the fatigue and wearisomeness of love.

"Cause or impediment, as ye shall answer at the last dreadful day of account!" was rung, was tolled rather, in my ears through I went abroad as soon as I was able to move, day and night: my state of hesitation and and never saw the shores of England till six perplexity was awful; but the terror of the months ago. I dared not look upon my boy matter with me was in its refference to the again through all that time-the boy that paid boy. A few days ere the wedding, I took a the debt of love to both his parents over sudden resolution, and posted up to London; and over again to her alone-the boy whom my mind was made up to give back the relics every year would help to understand more of my fortune to his lordship, and to entreat fully, if it was ever revealed, his father's his leave to reveal myself to do so, at all sin, his innocent mother's shame. I thank events, with or without his leave. "Too illto Heaven that he left this earth without that be seen to-day; but Mr. Branksome, if it knowledge that he died holding my hand was he, should be admitted to-morrow," in his, and thanking me for a friend's lovewas my answer in Grosvenor Square. To-" the love," his mother added, "that would morrow! Scant time there would be, then, to ever be a bond between her heart and get back to Shardale; but ordering a chaise mine!"

to be in readiness at a moment's notice, I It was in Rome that I next met those called again next day at the hour specified. three whom I had so deeply wronged. Her The house was filled with people; the square husband-he whom the world called suchbefore it, paved thick with straw, was thronged came to winter there-to die there, in the with gaping crowds; the great lord had but last stage of a decline: a sun-stroke killed my just expired-he, the arbiter of my destinies, boy; he was struck down, but lived three the ruler of my being, had himself been forced April-days-every hour, every minute of which to own a master. I was released, at length, is written in my inmost heart-a sorrow, yet from that bad vow. a solace, till it beats no more.

I grew frantic as we flew towards West- It may be that these words may meet her moreland; I writhed and cursed as each eyes whom I have used so cruelly, for whose fresh calamity occurred: the traces broke-a sake partly, too, I have so cruelly suffered; wheeler fell dead-lame-the boys I had bribed my love for her dear child "will ever be a to gallop madly got drunk, and galloped madly bond between our hearts," she said. Mother! in the wrong direction. When I reached I wonder would that sadness leave your brow, Kendal, it was past mid-noon of the marriage- or broaden rather, had you back your son? day. Weeks of raging fever at the Besides you two, there are no beings on earth, inn; death staring in my painted, lying face, save Ellen Newby, whose right hands I would putting its cold hand close beside my heart, care to clasp again. "Blessed are the merand yet, when I considered the life that other-ciful: for they shall obtain mercy." Fare wise must be, not horrible, not even unwel-you well!